Say No: Handbags Are Heavy

Come to Me, all you who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. 29 Take My yoke upon you and learn from Me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. 30 For My yoke is easy and My burden is light. Matt. 11: 28-30

By: Carol McClain @carol_mcclain

Full Handbags

Say no or your bag gets heavy

I've switched out my handbag. To do that, I had to say goodbye to my favorite wallet. Other essentials hit the trash bin. I'm carrying some in my hands because they don't fit. 

I had to. I can't say no, and my husband, Neil, doesn't like to carry things. 

Keys? In my bag.

His wallet? In my bag.

Phones? You've guessed it.

I quickly discovered, the bigger the bag, the bigger the burden. I had two choices--say no to Neil (but he's so sad, so pathetic when he pouts, that it's easier to say no to a crying infant than him) or get a smaller bag.

"Look, honey," I can now say with my sultriest smile, "it won't fit." 

That's our lives. If we don't say no--our baggage gets heavier. I'm sure you've heard the adage, "If you need something done, ask a busy woman." That female is the one who can't say no.

Need: a ride to the market? a Sunday school class taught? clean-up after fellowship meals? babysitting for the grandkids? chaperone for the third grade field trip? boy scout leader? volunteer for roadside cleanup? customer for the Pampered chef party? a visit to an invalid?

Which of the above is your gift? What do you feel led to do? Which resonates with you?

Say yes to that. No to the rest.

Not long ago, my daughter exploded (no, not literally, that would be gross). Some little thing unleashed the A-bomb in her--maybe the need to pick up bread for lunch? She does everything, especially when it comes to her kids. Sometimes everything becomes a bit too much.

I wonder where she learned it?

I've apologized to Sarah many times for teaching her the inability to say no.

Say no. When you do, you'll discover:

1. God's burden is easy and light. How I used to hate that scripture. My life used to be frazzled with activities--most out of my realm of giftings.
2. It's easy and fun to volunteer for those few sacrificial things we all need to do--like picking up roadside trash.
3. We'll have time to use the gifts God's given us. I resigned from choir because I can't sing. Now I have time to get home and write.
4. Another Hiroshima won't be unleashed. It's never fun being around a balloon that bursts--let alone the atomic bomb.

God always answers prayer. We've heard this adage, too. Sometimes yes, sometimes wait, and sometimes God says no.

If God can say no, why can't you?

What holds you back?

Quick Tweets:

No: the key to contentment. Click to tweet

If no is good enough for God, it's good enough for you. Click to tweet

Say No: There is NO Condemnation

Let what you say be simply ‘Yes’ or ‘No’; anything more than this comes from evil. Matthew 5: 37

By: Carol McClain @carol_mcclain

Years ago I played by bassoon in Oklahoma. My main take-away was the song, "I Can't Say No".

Unlike Ado Annie, my fear of no isn't sexual--but it permeates every part of my life.

I love to please. Like most women, was born to please. 

I'd guess the same goes for you.

Reasons We Don't Say No

• fear of rejection
• fear of wounding others
• fear we won't be womanly
• fear of missing God's will

And it's the last item that I think we need to overcome the most. Sometimes, God's will is only accomplished by saying no.

No Can Be God's Will

Before I ever published a book, my good friend Linda Rondeau got me a novella deal. Her agent would represent me. I'd be one of three others in the collection centered around another author's completed novella.

It was my foot in the door to the world of my dreams.

To prepare, I:

• researched--and had a ball doing so
• plotted out the work
• and woke up many a night in panic.

As the novella took shape, the publisher placed more stipulations on it. 

First it had to be historical--no problem. I set it for the Dutch Schutlz trial in Malone--a current passion of mine. 

Next, she wanted a romance--okay, not my favorite genre--maybe my least favorite, but my time period mitigated it, and my heroine intrigued me. 

Finally, an angel had to appear.

Deal breaker

No way could I work an angel in. Not my style, in a work already fast become not my thing.

I couldn't sleep. Couldn't eat. I thought of the Scripture to let my yeah be yeah and my no be no. And I'd already said yes.

But I had to be obedient to God once I heard him tell me to say no.

I called Linda and explained how I couldn't do this novella. To my glee, she was delighted. Linda, too, had misgivings but couldn't back out on me.

Restoration

My nights became restful, and my direction became clear.

Shortly after, I received my first contract from Desert Breeze Publishing. DWF: Divorced White Female came out the following year. A comedic women's fiction, where a ditched woman goes online to fine a man after her husband ditches her, characterized all I was as an author at the time.

No was God's direction. Matthew 5:37 tells us, no is part of God's will. We know in prayer, sometimes His answer is no. If God has no qualms saying no--neither should we.

Next week we'll explore how to follow in God's footsteps and say no.

Do you have problems with no? How do you overcome them? Do you wish to?

Quick Tweets

If God says no, so can you. Click to tweet.

There is no condemnation is saying no. Click to tweet.