Marriage, Moving and Salvation--A Parable

For he has rescued us from the dominion of darkness and brought us into the kingdom of the Son he loves. Col. 1:13

By: Carol McClain @carol_mcclain


For twenty years, I parented alone.

No man visited the church I dedicated myself to, and I wasn't going to search among the unsaved for love or a father-figure for my daughter.

In my fifties, I met Neil. We married. We switched churches. Finally, we moved from New York to Tennessee.

Here no one knows me as a single mother. No one is aware of the sins I committed in my Christian walk or the missteps and misbeliefs of my life.

Here I am a mature Christian with abundant gifts. Daily friends and ministers remind me of how blessed they are by my life.

My sins have been covered.

This is a parable of salvation:

1. Before we accept Christ, we live in sin and shame. Any single person who attends an organization filled with married people, know they are unintentionally ostracized. There was no "sin" in my singleness, but we can look at it as a metaphor. I felt alone and inadequate. With no mate, I knew (erroneously) I was  undesirable. Daily I prayed for God to cover my "shame."
2. We become the bride of Christ. With my vows to Neil, my singleness had been erased. Just as with my vows to Jesus, all my sin had vanished.
3. Salvation moves us from one kingdom to another.  No one knows me without my "covering." Here I'm married, and for all intents, had been married all my life. So many people enumerate my great qualities. They're impressed that I've published three books. They believe I do wonders in my mentoring of recovering addicts. They think I'm a Bible scholar. My move, like salvation, has removed my "sins of the past" and transferred me into a "kingdom of  glory."

Of course marriage and moving don't mirror the glory of salvation. But God, when we accept him as Lord and Savior, moves us from the kingdom of darkness into the kingdom of light. Old things have passed away, all things have become new.

Think of the patriarchs. They all moved. Their marriages reflected the kingdom of God. Salvation doesn't care where you've been or what you've done. It creates a new creation.

Quick Tweets

Marriage, moving and salvation: a parable. (click to tweet)

Rejoice in salvation--the past is gone. (click to tweet)

How To Be God's Friend

13 Greater love has no one than this: to lay down one’s life for one’s friends. 14 You are my friends if you do what I command. John 15:13-14

By: Carol McClain @carol_mcclain

Sometimes I think I should have been a lawyer, I can find the loophole in anything. As a recovering perfectionist, the last part of John 15:14 drove me into a frenzy of self-flagellation and overwork. The only way to be God's friend was to do his commandments. So I did, and did better, and did more, until even the Pharisees were ashamed of their sloth.

But truly, what are His commandments? According to Jesus, God has essentially two:

...“‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.’ This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ All the Law and the Prophets hang on these two commandments” (Matthew 22: 35-40).

And if that's all it takes to be a friend of God--life is a breeze.

Fans of my blog are generally Christian, and love God with all their hearts. It's one the reasons we recovering perfectionist work so hard--we want to please God. Unfortunately, we look at the word "do" in John 15:14, and we translate that work.

It isn't. It's a natural outcome of love.

You don't have to be a
Martha doing it all.

My marriage is a good and happy one. I cook, although it's not my favorite chore, because I love Neil and want him to be healthy. Seeing as he power washes anything that sits still long enough to be cleaned, it's the least I can do.

I don't squish spiders or remove snakes from my bathroom. Those fall into man realm.

I do clean up cat hairballs, because those gross upchucks defy all of Neil's sensibilities. However, he makes the bed and puts away his laundry, and he allows me to spend hours writing or working in my glass studio.

We are friends and love each other as ourselves. We work according to our gifts and don't expect anything more.

If we keep in mind that all we're required to do is to love God and others, then we've kept God's command. He loves us regardless. And we are his friend.

Be like Mary, not Martha. God will still be your friend. (click to tweet)

What Is Divorce?

"αθεοι" (atheoi), Greek for "those without god", as it appears in the Epistle to the Ephesians on the third-century papyrus known as "Papyrus 46" (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

My ex-husband would leave me early in the evening so he could get into the bars before the cover charge went into effect. This, he said, was because we had so little money. Financed only with bravado, he'd shoot pool for drinks and come home drunk.

I was left with a child, no TV, poor radio reception, and a party line. My best friend was never home those evenings, so loneliness and lack of self-esteem flourished in my love-starved soul.

Neither of us were Christians, and I had never heard the admonition of Ephesians 5:25. " Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her." I never knew a man, or a woman, could love a spouse so intensely. Imagine God's love for us: Jesus allowed himself to be whipped and mocked and crucified because he love us more than himself.

Because a man does not love a woman in this manner doesn't mean she should head for divorce court. But a sacrificial love is the life blood of a strong marriage. Like the lack of blood, without a love that prefers the other above yourself, the marriage will necrotize and die.

Ephesians goes on to say in verse twenty-eight, "In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself." It doesn't say to love yourself first. Love of self only comes with the love of your spouse.

In the same section of Ephesians, verse 22, women are simply admonished to "... submit to your husbands as to the Lord". Submission is a dirty word in our society, but its meaning is misunderstood. It does not mean to kowtow to every whim of your spouse. It does not mean your husband becomes a god you must adore. However, as we explore the definition of Biblical marriage and divorce, we will see how submission to a godly husband aids in the protection of and devotion to a wife.

Day 150: And that's that. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Love, protection, respect, submission. These four elements lead to a strong marriage. Their absence is not a licence for divorce, but a steady absence of these elements will destroy a marriage. Partners may stay together because they believe divorce is unbiblical--however, divorce is more than legal papers dissolving the union.

Divorce is the absence of love, protection, respect and submission. You can still be married and yet be divorced.

What is marriage to you? What is your definition of divorce? Do you have questions you'd like to explore? Leave a comment.