Biblical Divorce--Three Reasons: Adultery, Abandonment and Neglect

The Gutenberg Bible displayed by the United States Library of Congress, demonstrating printed pages as a storage medium. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Divorce is not the unpardonable sin. Despite the fact that divorce can be forgiven and remarriage can ensue, it is never to be taken lightly. If you love your spouse, but are not "in love", if you are best friends with him or her, then you best work on your marriage. Marriage is not romance and tingling loins--marriage is a compact of mutual respect. It honors God.

Marriage has lost its sacred nature, and we, as followers of Christ, need to resurrect that component. However, the Bible gives us clear-cut examples when divorce can be "no-fault" (so to speak) to the innocent parties--Adultery and desertion AND neglect. 

1. Adultery

Matt 19:8-9

8 Jesus replied, "Moses permitted you to divorce your wives because your hearts were hard. But it was not this way from the beginning. 9 I tell you that anyone who divorces his wife, except for marital unfaithfulness, and marries another woman commits adultery." NIV

Most of the New Testament couches this with the man toward the woman. When a man is responsible for the well being of the wife and her offspring, he needs to know that the lineage she produces is his. That's obviously not the case today.

And Paul writes in Galations 3:28, "There is neither Jew nor Greek, there is neither bond nor free, there is neither male nor female: for ye are all one in Christ Jesus."KJV

In a world where women can fend for themselves through their careers, she can seek the divorce. Remember, a woman in Bible times had no means of support. If her husband divorced her, she could do little and generally lived in poverty--often having to turn to prostitution in order to survive.

2. Desertion

1 Cor 7:15-16, "But if the unbeliever leaves, let him do so. A believing man or woman is not bound in such circumstances; God has called us to live in peace. NIV

God does not want us to be tied to a person who refuses to live with us, support us, and fulfill what God has joined together.


3. Neglect

I've seen abused women stay in a marriage because they believe only desertion and adultery qualifies as grounds for divorce. However, we must understand the culture of the day and what the people who initially heard Jesus, understood.

Jesus did not forbid divorce in cases of abuse. I recently read an interesting article by David Instone-Brewer in Christianity Today. Brewer is the senior research fellow in rabbinics and the New Testament at Tyndale House, Cambridge. His research definitively shows how Jesus never commanded a spouse to stay in a marriage if abuse and neglect abounded. Next week, I will distill his argument. However, I have included the link below so you can read the entire article.
http://www.christianitytoday.com/ct/2007/october/20.26.html

Divorce involves humans--men and women of broken spirit. Christians serve a God who understands their needs and hears their pleas. If you have any testimony about your life as a divorced Christian, I'd love to hear from you.

Divorce: A Biblical Perspective

Once upon a time

I am divorced.

It is not the unpardonable sin, despite the theology of many churches. A sad example of how unforgiving many Christians can be about this issue is seen in the calling of a dear friend of mine.

"Sam" had been called into the ministry. With all of his being, he wanted to be a pastor. However, prior to his conversion, his first wife left him for another man. Close to suicide, Sam became a Christian and his sins were forgiven.

Apparently, all was forgiven but his divorce. He attended a neighborhood church with his new wife. There, he was flatly informed he could not preach or be involved in what they called ministry because of his pre-salvation divorce.

In a similar manner, one Baptist minisJesus Christ.
ter told me I could never remarry even though my divorce came before my acceptance of

And so I wonder. Had Sam or I murdered our cheating spouses and done our time, could we remarry? Could we minister? Is murder a more tolerable sin than ending up in an abusive relationship or with a philandering spouse and having the dignity to leave? Must divorced people be punished for all time for a sin not their own?

Even if a person destroys his or her own marriage and truly repents, should the punishment go on in perpetuity?

I, in no way, cavalierly endorse the end of a marriage. But marriage takes two people.

Then, we need to define divorce. When Michal scorned David, he never went in to her again--but never divorced her. Even in New Testament times, men could marry more than one woman, so could a Biblical divorce be the ending of support for the woman? Moses and the law allowed for it and accepted a remarriage. In those days, survival was nearly impossible for a single woman without a husband.

But what about people who stay married, live in the same house, but essentially have nothing to do with each other. Haven't they already divorced their spouses?

We do have explicit exceptions given in the New Testament, but the culture of the times would have understood some of the implicit issues.

Over the next few weeks, I'd like to explore divorce, remarriage, and most importantly, what does it mean to be a Christian couple?