Saturday, June 8, 2013

Kidney Quest: Blood Tests: AKA The Vampire Syndrome

After Mt. Sinai sucked my blood dry like a vampire falling off the wagon, my brother-in-law flew me home in his Piper. Autumn had settled over the Adirondacks and the land below me danced in orange and red and green. Dying, in the natural world, is beautiful.

Neil picked me up at the airport and drove me home. There I had a message waiting for me. Mt. Sinai had not drawn enough blood for all their blood tests. Would I please come in at my earliest convenience?

Hmmm--I took a day off to have these blood tests done. Now they needed more. Done in NYC. Not Malone. Told me Malone wasn't good enough.

Okay, I showed them the error of their ways and they faxed a script to Alice Hyde Medical Center. Once there, the phlebotomist came in with labels for nine vials of blood.

NINE! Donating keeps vampires in business.

So what is tested through blood tests?
  1. chicken pox
  2. rubella
  3. electrolytes
  4. white count syphilis
  5. toxoplasma
  6. hematoligical systems
  7. clotting mechanisms
  8. glucose intolerance
  9. liver function
  10. pancreas function
  11. HIV
  12. herpes
  13. hepatitis A, B, C
  14. CMV--cytomegalovirus
  15. CBC
If you are planing on donating, be prepared for an alphabet soup of blood tests.

Oh. And the last indignity? They handed me a urine specimen cup. Apparently, the twenty-four hours worth wasn't enough!

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