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2. The bassoon also is the forerunner of an IED. Watch a bassoonist roaming around before a concert and see how many innocent attendees she bops with the horn. Few survive.
4. The bocal is a good substitute for a water balloon. Innocently look ahead as you blow the condensation out of it at the end of the concert. Your neighbor will be saturated.
5. It does not make the same noise as a dying cow or a moose in heat.
6. When someone points at a bassoonist and says, "das faggott," they are NOT insulting her. That's the German name for it and it means those sticks.
7. No ships are ever lost at sea when a bassoon yields its low notes.
8. The bassoon is not an oboe.