Sunday, April 17, 2011

God Created the World for Women: The Proof

     God must be crying over the irony of the patriarchally driven world when the very opening of the Bible shows us the world was created for us--the women. I do not expect you to take this thought in blind faith, so I will demonstrate it exegetically. (Go to the source, and see that I don't err).
      EveImage via Wikipedia
    •  Day 1--Every woman knows she looks best with a sun-kissed tan, thus day 1, God created the sun.
    • Day 2--What better place to get a tan than on the beach? Day 2,  God separated the water from the land and thus gave us beaches.
    • Day 3--I covered this in depth yesterday. Coffee, chocolate, wine and golden Oreos all come from plant life.
    • Day 4--(Do notice how creation gets more complex as it goes along--this is an important point). We now have moonlight and starlight for a little romance in which to enjoy our chocolate.
    • Day 5--What good is a red wine without the red steak? Or an excellent book without a kitty cat purring on our laps?      On Day 5, God created the animals.
    • Day 6--the complexity builds--and here I'll separate two components. God creates man who all alone cannot deal with life. But he is necessary to provide for God's crowning achievement--the beach house and fine foods and romance. Once man is finished--along comes woman, His crowning achievement. With the creation of woman, what else can the good Lord do? He's done it all.
    • Day 7--He can finally rest.
    Therefore, woman was the sole reason the world was created. I am so glad I am a Bible scholar! No one can refute this.
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    1 comment:

    1. I don't know what else to say except woo hoo.